A girlfriend recently wrote me a desperate email. Jessica, a nice conservative Jewish brunette from New Jersey, fell madly for James, a blonde, Catholic, European. Ah, those study abroad programs. Meanwhile, Jess came to the belief that many of us modern Jews have had- that Judaism is a dead, dogmatic religion with nothing to offer but a measly culture. Intermarriage was just a stepping stone to get to her real inquiry � why should I carry this Jewish identity onward, and in what way can the Jew affect the world?

Let me back up. Ron and Debbie Weiss knew their party was over in Manhattan at the birth of their first daughter, Jessica in the spring of �83. Their days of Woodstock and mild drug use had long passed when it came time for Ron Weiss to move the family to Cherry Hill, New Jersey for a yard and promising position in a law firm. Jessica and younger sister, Lauren Weiss were your garden variety of upper-middle class American Jews. The girls were raised at the mall each weekend and in sleep away camp each Summer. Their conservative synagogue saw them twice a year in the Fall. South Florida made for a Grandparent visit each Winter. And once every Spring, Debbie would cook a seemingly ordinary dinner with the addition of matzah.

Ron and Debbie could not believe how time flew, and before they knew it, Jessica was about to enter a top tier private college and actually leave the nest. The Weiss parents felt confident, however, that they had raised their Jessica to one day gain a promising degree, comparable lifestyle and Jewish husband. Something went terribly wrong. In an email dated October 13, 2004, Jessica begged for validation for her choice of seriously dating and seriously contemplating life with her new boyfriend. �He loves me� he�s moving to New York next year...He�s not Jewish.� She continued that her love for Jewish culture couldn�t compare to her love for James.

Could I really blame her? To many modern Jews raised with Judaism as a culture, Seinfeldian wit and gefilte fish has fallen short of communicating the innate essence of what it means to be Jewish. And further yet, it has left us high and dry for compelling reasons to carry it forward. For many of us, Judaism was merely an activity to our grandparents. By the time it reached our parents, it became a hobby. Like the hula hoop, canasta and Leave it to Beaver- these things no longer affect our world, what makes Judaism any different?

As it turns out, the Jew makes an inordinate contribution to society at large. Look at the father of Ron Weiss, a European immigrant who worked as a telephone repairman. Just one generation later he was the father of a neurologist, dentist and lawyer. It�s a story we see over and over again in the course of Jewish history. In comparison to their size, the Jewish people have risen to top professions and in receipt of Nobel prizes in nearly every discipline. Their present existence is even a wonder, providing all the attempts to make them extinct. The statistics are just plain baffling, which regularly leads to the question, are the Jewish people really �chosen� in any shape or form?

Yes. The Jewish people have been chosen to access spirituality through their rulebook to life, the Torah. How would Jessica Weiss know this? Her parents knew spiritual highs as the Bob Marley and marijuana cigarette variety. And it�s true; they were accessing spirituality, as it provided a connector to something outside themselves. The problem here is this spirituality is fleeting, while the spirituality imbued with Torah is lasting.

So, how does the Jew hit it big? How does he do his job in this world - influence society for the better, and maintain his chances at stardom and a PhD, whilst accessing something outside himself? The answer is held in the framework of our universe, through the essence of Kabbalah, and put into practicality with the Torah. The Torah is a text of genealogy, history, and further yet, a rulebook to playing the game of life, compiling a cool 613 ways to connect with life�s foundation. The Torah is acclaimed for many things, notably however, it is thee greatest text ever invented on sharing. The idea is to attain spiritual light by sharing. The way it feels so much better to buy a present for someone than receive one, that feeling is the energy of sharing. A life of Torah is like buying presents in every aspect of existence.

On the other hand, secular society promotes receiving for the self alone. Jessica Weiss can tell you that. Whether making the dean�s list, dropping a dozen pounds, procuring the new J. Crew sweater set, scoring the best internship, or hitting the guest list at the hottest lounge � these are the trials and tribulations. A decade from now, her trials will graduate to adult status; the finest leather interior, most reputable school for her children, best country club. Not long thereafter will she toil to acclaim the finest retirement community newest model Cadillac. At the end of the run, what have we developed besides finer tastes?

The Jewish soul potential exists to achieve lasting spiritual fulfillment. This is not a job for our sages or rabbis, priests or politicians alone. It is to be done by the accountant, the actor, the layman, Jessica. Each Jew should understand his awesome power, recognizing we exist to do more than satisfy our own wants. It�s a matter of finding love in each other, particularly when it�s so easy to find hate � and that�s Torah.

It�s not about carrying on the culture; it�s about realizing this culture is based on a very awesome technology. The Jessica Weiss�s of today missed the boat somewhere along the lines. The technology of Torah can allow Jess and all of her Jewish counterparts to not only disregard intermarriage, but truly cash in and start actualizing themselves.